OPINION: There’s a way to get out of unhealthy relationships

There are always those couples, the ones that constantly fight, bringing everyone into their spats and then those couples that only talk to each other, never leaving their partner’s side. Whereas on the outside they seem happy, these are two different prime examples of unhealthy relationships.

Spending time with a partner is usually good, but if one has not seen their friends in a month due to always being busy with their significant other, the relationships they have with their friends become strained. People need to make time for everyone in their life, not only one person. Friendships lose connections after not talking, resulting in less friends if a person only wants to be around their boyfriend. Creating a healthy balance between dating and friends is what a relationship needs to be healthy.

Alternatively, if a significant other hates their partner’s friends and does not want them seeing them, an even bigger issue arises. Distancing oneself from those who know one best can cause one to be in a harmful situation where one only has their significant other to turn to in a time of need. A separated partner is a prime candidate for emotional abuse, as according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, most abusers isolate their victim from anyone who is supportive of them. If one finds themselves in this situation, try to reach out to friends and keep them close, as it could save one from future pain.

Some forces join, others repel. Relationships that fight all the time are also blatantly unhealthy. Fighting takes a toll on a person and can change how they act. People become tired, restless and it can affect schoolwork as well. Research from Brigham Young University found that that couples who do not argue live longer, supporting the idea that arguing is literally bad for a person’s physical health.

This information prompts a question: what should one do to stop the arguments? A study done by Baylor University in 2013 suggests that relationship conflicts are about relinquishing power. Breaking the root causes of arguments down to two stems- perceived threats and perceived neglect. They concluded their study with researching the most common solutions to arguments: investing time in the relationship, stopping adversal behavior, communicating more, giving affection and making apologies. Attempting at least one of these problem-solvers can potentially fix the argument issues in a relationship and keep relationships happy.

With the tools above one might think they finally have their biggest desire: the ideal high school romance. This is depicted in rom-com movies, Nicholas Sparks novels and every teen’s imaginations. It consists of dates to a myriad of places where everything is perfect and nothing goes wrong. A relationship where there are little problems, and if any form, they are squashed due to the magnitude of the love. While this relationship may not exist in the real world, the tools described above can make relationships come close to ideal and in turn make one happier all around.

Bad relationships can make one feel like they’re stuck in a tornado, but if one looks around, they can see that an escape is viable. In a day and age when couples talk every day, rather than just have weekly dates, it may seem like there is no option to leave. However, with support from friends, trusted adults and family, getting out of these relationships will be easier than it seems. If the situation is able to be repaired, keep it healthy with communication abound, rather than falling into a pit of unhappiness. If one sees their relationship heading into an unhealthy area, be careful and try to bring it out of the danger zone, before it is too late.