When asked “How are you?”, even in passing, a person’s gut response is almost unfailingly “Good,” and then the conversation is over. This all-too familiar exchange could be just a way to fill silence or start a conversation, but it could also be an attempt to connect with a friend or loved one on a serious level.

Expressing emotions, especially negative ones, is something a lot of people struggle with. Shutting down after a rough day or snapping at your innocent friends after a stressful one are just two side effects of emotions being held in. It’s understandable. I’m not going to sit here and say that it’s fun talking about feelings, but sometimes a little outside input could really help a situation.

Keeping your emotions in could be disastrous and knowing the consequences could be beneficial. According to Lisa Rene Reynolds, Ph.D., the stress from holding in emotions can weaken your immune system and bring on headaches, cold sores and flare ups of preexisting conditions such as backaches and fibromyalgia. Not only that, but it can also lead to type 2 diabetes and heart disease (caused by emotional eating).

The million dollar question is: Why is it so hard to talk about our feelings? Even with our closest friends and family, there seems to be a perpetual block prohibiting us from expressing exactly how we feel.

One explanation is the fear of conflict. Being afraid to start a fight is one of the main reasons people keep their feelings to themselves. Thinking that a bigger problem can arise from seemingly small emotions causes many people to keep quiet about the things that bother them.

“I hate fighting with my friends,” junior Erin Schweighardt said. “If keeping quiet about something will make them happy, I’ll do it.”

Another explanation is insecurity. The need to be strong and capable is something many people struggle with. Men in particular, according to Gregg Henriques Ph.D., struggle the most. Sometimes, making expectations are easier than keeping them.

“I never want people to think I’m weak, so most of the times I just don’t say anything,” freshman Joey DeCeglie said.

While expressing your emotions may never be easy, there are ways to work toward opening up. Knowing who to talk to and when is especially important. One of the biggest problems people have is not knowing who to turn to in the face of distress. Sometimes it’s hard to talk to family, and that’s okay. Friends, guidance counselors and even teachers are all options for you to talk to. Keeping quiet will do nothing but hurt you, so figuring out when, how and whom to talk to can benefit you immensely.